INDY'S OR PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING?
My personal experience and thoughts on both sides of the fence
By Ann-Marie Crooks
http://perso.club-internet.fr/vroom/amcrooks.htm
(formerly 'Midnight' of WCW)

Pyrotechnics, jumbo trons, huge stages, outlandish costumes, trash talking, sexual innuendoes, signs of your favorite wrestlers and great scripts, entertainment, and lots of money are what most people think about when you say you are a wrestler. But I can tell you, there is oh, so much more than even I ever knew or imagined. Very few of us wrestling fans or wrestlers will be blessed with the opportunity to make it to the professional ranks. Yet so many of you will spend a vast part of your life chasing that dream; and even more watching it. Far be it for me to say its not a dream worth dreaming, nor a dream worth pursuing. But have you really ever thought about the old saying "The grass is always greener on the other side"; and how that may apply to the wrestling business? Well my I never did until my recent experience at my first Indy appearance with the SWF (Superstars of Wrestling in Portsmouth, Ohio). I never pursued professional wrestling; it was more the forces of nature, coincidence; act of God, or whatever you choose to call it, that brought me to the business. I just happened to be in the right place, at the right time. But my experience thus far was eye-opening and thrilling all at once. I have many friends who are huge fans of professional wrestling; they ignore their family and other obligations to catch the weekly soap opera of sports entertainment called "professional wrestling". No matter which federation, WWF, ECW, or WCW, there are plenty of fans for all three to continue to succeed. But the average fan could never fathom what its really like to be behind the scenes of professional wrestling; and the same for the indy wrestler who is chasing that dream of making it to the big time. The average fan only sees the glitz and larger than life personas on camera. But all that show business comes at a price. The ability to truly interact with your fans on a one on basis is forever gone! Sure, the professionals have autograph signing sessions and appearances, where the fans can stand in line for hours to get a glimpse, a quick photo, and hand shake from their favorite wrestler; but in the indies you get to personally touch (physically and emotionally) the people who give of their income, their time, and the energy to see you. Sure, the venues are not multi thousand seats arenas, they are bingo halls, high school gyms, or small local bars; but the desire of people to see the wrestlers is still just as big. Their support of the wrestler is just as important; and their love is just as wanted and appreciated. I severely underestimated the potential of the indies. And my first experience may not be true of every indy federation out there; but it is one I will never forget. Was it the huge pop I got when I finally came out for all to see...or was it the teenage girl who stood in line at intermission to give me a beaded bracelet? Maybe it was the little boy who made his own "Midnight" sign and inscribed "I love you and Booker T" on it? Maybe it was the little girl who gave me an Easter bunny and a huge hug! Or maybe it was the many who told me how much they enjoyed the "Midnight" character, her abilities, and how much they missed seeing her. It wasn't just one thing, but ALL of these experiences that make the indies something special in my opinion. I cant tell you once in my time in the professional ranks that I felt so much love from the fans. I am not saying they didn't or don't appreciate the wrestlers in professional wrestling, because we all know they do. I am saying due to the business side of it, the wrestlers don't get to interact with the fans personally; so the ability to see and feel these emotions and experiences are severely diminished or lost altogether. All I knew and experienced was the desire to get 'graphs'. I had begun to see all fans of wrestling as the typical stereotype of a "Mark"; as so  many of other wrestlers do. I know now I was woefully wrong. In the business of professional wrestling where popularity and your image is controlled and manipulated, you begin to lose perspective as to what is real, and what isn't. Some wrestlers begin to believe their own hype and marketing. Reality becomes a blur in their lives. It was wonderful to see the lack of egos among the wrestlers; and the willingness of each to do what they had to for the sake of the show and the organization. And at the same time, it was hard to not realize that when the chosen few among them make it to the big time, that characteristic I so admired will surely fade with fame, money, and television. What's real is the ability to take all the time in the world to touch each and every hand while walking around the ring before and after the match! What's real...is the love you can almost touch and certainly feel! What's real..is the faces of the children and their family who smile at you for taking the time to acknowledge they are there. What's real ...is hearing a child say "I love you Midnight". No amount of money, no amount of television time, no amount of recognition and legions of fans, can ever come close to the feeling of knowing that you touched so many people's lives, in such a big way. To know that even if you missed a spot, they didn't care. Each and every time I step in the ring, I have given 110 percent. With each drop kick, I tried to jump higher. With each leap frog I tried to touch the sky. I never felt the immediate reaction of my in ring time until last Friday in the Indies. So for those of you in the indies, treasure the experience, and embrace it. Because if you are one of the chosen few who will make it to the pro ranks, you will forever miss it. To have felt that love, and seen that light on the faces of those people who were there when you were starting out, and giving your all to them, is something that you will carry with you in your heart...always! And I guarantee you will never forget~!! Many heartfelt thanks to all the people who attended the show; and for the sites that did a review. I will always remember! Visit Ann Marie's Website at: http://perso.club-internet.fr/vroom/amcrooks.htm